SHE (Surviving, Healing, and Evolving)®
SHE (Surviving, Healing, and Evolving)®

Forget the trauma?  Easier said than done

 

by Dr. Rhonda Sherrod

January 13, 2018

 

I get so tired of listening to people--and it's usually some preacher--saying, in effect, "Stop dwelling on the past.  You can't accesss your future if you stay in the past."  Yeah, sounds good right?  But does it sound easy?  Is there some switch that can be flipped to erase or diminish those powerful memories of traumatic events?  No, of course not!  If we could flip a switch, so many people wouldn't be suffering and in crisis!

 

What would be "truth-sayers" should talk about are strategies and techniques that people can employ to shut down-- or at least, calm down--the intrusive thoughts that surely present themselves at any given time if one has suffered trauma.  Those intrusive thoughts that can slip into consciousness through any sensory modality can creep up or pop up at any given time--even when you are supposed to be happy.  Perhaps you perceive something similar to, or that reminds you of, something you saw during the traumatic event(s); or manybe something you just heard makes vivid a remark that was made during the traumatic experience(s).  Perhaps it is an off-the-cuff, thoughtless and dismissive comment that someone made when you disclosed the trauma (or tried to talk about it) that triggers a new wave of sadness or despair.  Maybe it is his hands on your body a certain way that--although meant to be loving and affectionate--sets off a torrent of anxiety and negative emotions.  Something that simple can make the mind start ruminating--and you start brooding. 

 

Trauma is trauma; and it affects brain physiology.  When something reminds you of your trauma, and parts of your brain get activated, how do you "stop dwelling on the past?"  Well, you need strategies and tools to manage, and perhaps vanquish, those intrusive thoughts when they surface. You need a compassionate, informed approach. What you don't need are homilies, platitutes, and trite, pat responses to complex phenomena offered by some person whose smugness exceeds his or her cleverness.  In many ways, a person who suffers real trauma has to learn to live again.  This is not simple stuff.  Yes, it would be nice to forget, but that's just not likely in many situations.  That magic pill has yet to be produced.  

 

 

 

 

      SHESPEAKS:  Dr. Rhonda Speaks   Topic:  Managing Feelings

Remember:  Some days you may feel fragile, but that does  not mean you can't transcend that feeling and                                                            Excel!     

SHE (Surviving, Healing, and Evolving)®

Managing Feelings

Sep 26, 2017
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Quote of the Week

 

February 4, 2018

 

"Grab the broom of

 

anger, and drive off the

 

beast of fear."  

 

Zora Neale Hurston,

Author & Antropologist

 

 

Quote of the Week

January 27, 2018

 

Winning is great, sure, but if you are really going to do something in life, the secret is learning how to lose. Nobody goes undefeated all the time.  If you can pick up after a crushing defeat, and go on to win again, you are going to be a champion someday."  

Wilma Rudolph,

Olympic Goal Medalist

 

____________________________________

Quote of the Week

January 21, 2018

 

"The secret of getting ahead is getting started."

Mark Twain, 

Author and humorist

 

_____________________________

Quote of the Week

January 14 , 2018

 

"As you become more clear about who you really are, you'll be better able to decide what is best for you the first time around."

 

Oprah Winfrey,

Media Mogul

 

_______________________________

Quote of the Week

January 7, 2018

 

"There is no force equal to a woman determined to rise."

 

Dr. W.E. B. DuBois

Scholar Extraordinaire

 

_______________________________

Quote of the Week

January 1, 2018

 

New beginnings, y'all! Another year, another opportunity to become who we came here to be. Let's focus on discovering the tools and strategies we need to move forward.  Then, each and EVERY single day, let's try to use those strategies.  It might not be easy, but it will sure be worth it!"

Dr. Rhonda Sherrod

Soul Survivor

 

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Quote of the Month

January, 2018

 

"Trust yourself.  Think for yourself.  Act for yourself. Speak for yourself.  Be yourself. Imitation is suicide.",

Marva Collins, 

Highly-esteemed teacher

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Quote of the Month -

 

December

 

 

"...she had nothing to fall back on; not maleness, not whiteness, not ladyhood, not anything.  And out of the profound desolation of her reality she may well have invented herself."

 

Toni Morrison

Brilliant multiple prize-winning author

 

 

"I am a woman -- gorgeously designed, brilliant, charming, mysterious, funny, bewitching, cool, and, most of all, uniquely purposed. I am my own phenomenal being, and I own and govern myself!"

 

 Dr. Rhonda Sherrod

QUOTE FOR THE SOUL:

 

"Dipped in Chocolate, Bronzed in Elegance, Enameled with Grace, Toasted with Beauty.

My Lord, She's a Black Woman." 

 

Dr. Yosef

Ben-Jochannan 

GET TO KNOW YOURSELF

BE TRUE TO YOURSELF

 

What makes you happy?

LOVE YOURSELF

BE AN ORIGINAL!

DO WHAT YOU CAME INTO THE WORLD TO DO.  

FIND YOUR PURPOSE, SO YOU CAN BE HAPPY!

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